Last night I went on a date with a man.
What was he wearing?
Oh, how naughty of you to ask.
Penguin pajama pants and a black v-neck T. I know. Sexy.
I invited him over to my place after we worked out together at our apartment's fitness center.
We made homemade pizza and cuddled up on the couch with Oreos and milk and the second Lord of the Rings.
Every once in a while, in between spurts of black blood and wizard fights, he would whisper things in my ear like, "It's really cold in our apartment," "Did you check the mail today?" and "You're really cute."
It was a hot date.
He even stayed the night.
And he has a really cute tush.
I'm glad he's the father of my child.
This is him. Close your mouths, ladies.