Thursday, August 19, 2010

Random Thoughts From People Our Age

Right now, I'm in the Newark, NJ airport waiting on standby to get on a flight to Houston and then to Salt Lake. It might be a long day, but nevertheless, I've decided to make it a good one. So, considering the amount of time I may or may not be spending in this or another airport, this post may be one of many for the day. See if you can keep up! 

So I came across this random list awhile back, and I found it both ridiculously accurate and amusing. I hope I don't just have an odd sense of humor.

Enjoy!Random Thoughts from People Our Age

  • I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  • More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
  • Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
  • That's enough, Nickelback.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
  • Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
  • Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
  • There is a great need for sarcasm font.
  • Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
  • I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
  • How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  • I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  • I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
  • Was learning cursive really necessary?
  • Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  • Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
  • My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
  • Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart.”
  • How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
  • I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
  • Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
  • What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
  • While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  • MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  • I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
  • I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • Whenever I'm Facebook-stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
  • Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier and sluttier every year?
  • If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
  • Why is it that during an icebreaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
  • Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
  • There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  • I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
  • I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  • When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
  • I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
  • Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
  • As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  • Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  • It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
  • I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  • Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  • Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
  • My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?
  • It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
  • I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  • The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Myra Shoot Preview

I already put this pic up on facebook, but I thought I'd feature it here too--basically because my photographer is awesome! A couple months ago, my friend Myra asked me to be a model to do a shoot to enhance her portfolio. She and I both share the same affinity for vintage-inspired clothing, accept she's waaayyy more fashionable and creative than I could ever dream. She wants to go into fashion photography and I couldn't have been more enthusiastic to participate. 
Here's just a taste of what she did. I had so much fun with her. I seriously felt like I was hanging out with my bff while taking crazy pictures in our PJ's and jumping like lunatics on my bed. That kind of crazy fun. I want to do it again--so badly. 

Vacation Update

By the way, before I even start, I just want you to know that I am currently disliking (tremendously) my blog design/background. I need Adam to fix it because he used his computer savvy-ness to screw with almost everything. Until then, it'll be overly earthy. 
So, where to begin?
To recap:
Week 1: Week 1 was spent in upstate NY in the Adirondacks by Lake George. Gorgeous place. We go there every summer as kind of a family reunion for family on my dad's side. Basically the whole week is spent swimming, working out, hiking, boating, playing tennis and shuffle board, eating overpriced food, and scarfing down tons of late-night ice cream--all while staying in a super old/gorgeous cabin in the Appalachian Mountains. It's a great breath of fresh air. 

Week 2: Week 2 was crazy--so crazy that I don't even have pictures for everything that we did. Monday, we went to Dutch Springs, which is an aqua park situated on one of PA's many fresh water (are any of them not fresh?) quarries. The park consists of water trampolines, a blob, steep icebergs, slides, and anything else  used for flotation devices. Lots of fun and super tiring. 
The next day we went out with my brother and his girlfriend, Courtney to see "The Other Guys." Honestly, I thought I wouldn't be as disappointed as I was. You know when you're watching a movie and everything's going good and then all of a sudden they just have to include a crude, irrelevant scene that makes you feel so awkward that you almost feel compelled to leave? It was like that. Anyway, unless you like random spurts of crude humor, I wouldn't recommend it. The next day we went to visit my grandparents at the Jersey Shore and spend some time at the beach. Adam loves it there because the water is warm (not like the Oregon coast) and he can swim like a little fishy all day.
By Friday morning, I was exhausted. But was I surprised to hear my dad's pleas to take us to Camelbeach? Nope. So, Adam, Bryon and I went with dad to Camelbeach water park and had tons of more fun in the sun. 
Adam left for home on Saturday, leaving me to spend some chill time with my family. My bff Tara drove all the way down from West Point Military Academy with her man to come visit me for the day. We went to Carrabbas and then spent the rest of the night chilling with her and her family. I love the Brown's. All through high school I was found swimming in their pool, sleeping over at their house, baking cookies in their kitchen, and so on. Being with them again brought back a lot of good and embarrassing memories. 

So, obviously we're on week 3 right now, which I'm not going to inform you on the contents of because (a) it's not done yet and (b) nothing crazy/awesome has happened yet. 
Till next week!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Where Am I?

Where am I? 
I'm in my happy place. 
I  love this place. Once we got off the plane, I saw an Orthodox Jew and thought, "I'm home." When we stepped outside I looked around and sighed: "I love traffic and honking horns." My aunt and uncle picked us up and I couldn't get over my love for a good Jersey accent. I almost cried when she offered me raviolis (ITALIAN FOOD!). That next day I got my pizza fix (x3) and we started our vacation. 
Ahhhhh the east. Beach tomorrow. :)