Thursday, January 22, 2009

Raise Your Boots, Not Your Hair

Ok, so due to just finishing my NCLB tech writing essay (WHO CARES???), lack of money and therefore spare-spending-cash, and complete disgust with the Utah/Idaho fashion No-No's, I'm compelled to write something that has nothing to do with AdamandBritney.  

First, I'll reveal the evil nasties of the Mountain West Trends (gouge my eyes out) so we can finish with the casual/chic pieces I've been craving to put on, and maybe even buy (shhh).

Feux-pas 1. I'll start with the one that everyone is aware of, but refuses to protest (seriously, we need signs and posters) --it's the poof. your hair pregnant? Is this a modern spin on the 80's mullet and 60's beehive? Has this EVER deserved a headline in a fashion magazine other than Beautifully Modest? Is there something inside of that thing holding up the mass of hairspray and matted, tacky-highlighted hair? Try this, take a poll around campus and ask a variety of guys what they think...seriously.

Feux-pas 2. AE furry-hooded sweater or vest + pastel striped henley + massive belt-buckle+ medium-wide leg faded jeans+4 inch soled cork shoes = are any of those things cute? Last I checked, adding 5 negatives makes an even more negative-nasty outfit.

Feux-pas 3. Bright, flower-printed maternity tank with matching T. Add the huge fake flower plopped in your 9x10in bun and you're good enough to be white trash. Don't even get me started on matching eye makeup...

Ok that's enough. I'm done envisioning the fashion crime of the century plaguing today's BYUI babes. This trend is seriously murdering the cuteness of many potential beauties. What would I prescribe? Banana Republic and lots of Kenneth Cole. 

Now to the goods. To purge my eyes of the images of such, to say least-judgmentally, depressing "ensembles", a quick glance at the upcoming spring collections and winter sales is my garment Zoloft
To all the girls that can afford to spend, dedicate your next spree to me with these gems:


Banana Republic

Dresses and Skirts

                                Gray, belted skirt from BR, Floral-print skirt from Forever 21.
Rest from Dillards.     

Sweaters and Blouses

White tie sweater from BR, Plaid tunic from Forever 21.
Rest from Dillards.

Accessories and Bags
watch, clutch and necklace from Bendel's
 Scarves from Forever 21



The Rider Family said...

Oh My Gosh Britney! this is so funny and so true!! I just laughed and I love your writting it makes it even more enjoyable to laugh at. I love your suggestions and hope BYUI babes get the clue. love ya

Jessica said...

Britney-- Hey, it's Jessica of Phil and Jessica. I actually still can't believe that we haven't met you! Crazy. Let us know if you guys come down this direction sometime. Or even better, we should all meet up somewhere on vacation. Also, check out our little blog too. We're not very good at updating lately, but hey life is more important than blogging, right?

Aaron and Ailinh Harris said...

PHew. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a problem with all that too. You are funny. Great post. we need to chill.