Wellness

There are some things I can't go without. For instance, chocolate after dinner (didn't she explain this in the last post?), feeling a sense of accomplishment, and most importantly, human-interaction. Human-interaction is what keeps up sane, not to mention apart from the animals, and, essentially, happy and normal people. Since our move from Rexburg, I feel as though I have been completely removed from those around me--whether this is solely self-inflicted or circumstantial or a combination of the two is still a question needing to be answered. At the current moment, sitting on my bed in my new room, with my husband busy assembling a new dresser, I feel uncharacteristically empty. Empty in that I feel alone, overwhelmed, un-edified and unrelieved. 
And do I dare go as far as to say: hopeless? 
The odd thing is that I have been around people these entire two weeks. I have spent time with family, my husband, friends, and complete strangers. So what explains these sudden and unpleasant feelings? 
As a retrace my steps, I think I've realized something interesting--or at least something I find interesting: amidst my previous settings with my previous people, I have been elsewhere--in my mind. Translation? My mind has been elsewhere. 
Where?
Apartment hunting, apartment decorating, NCLEX studying, NCLEX worrying, baby worrying, baby hoping, new residence unpacking, new residence paperwork-ing, online class taking, grocery store shopping, etc. 
Although I've been out on dates with my husband, spending time with family and friends, and corresponding with humans around me, all the while, I have been in my own head trying to plan/organize every detail of my next purchases, events, obligations, etc. that I have not actually been corresponding at all. 
Which leads me to raise this question: Can simply being too busy, in both body and mind, cause the things we do each day to keep us sane to not have any effect on us at all? 
I know the answer seems so obvious: of course it can. But let's be honest people--do we actually think that rule applies to us, as opposed to that guy/gal down the road? 
No. Probably not. 
I now have a better understanding of how people, especially women, can easily be run right into the hard, cold, lonely ground, simply by being too busy, too ambitious, and running faster than they have the strength. 
I believe that mental and physical health go hand-in-hand to define our wellness and that if we're not happy or finding emotional stimulation and enjoyment by doing things that would normally bring us such, then perhaps we're not in need of medication, a sick-day, or therapy, maybe we just need to slow down the pace and allow ourselves to be stimulated. 
What am I doing tomorrow? 


Nothing. 

Dessert

I love dessert.
I always have. 
One time I got the spanking of a lifetime for sticking my 5-year old finger in my little sister's birthday cake before dinner. Understandable, considering I didn't do it just once try about 10. Things haven't changed. I still prefer cookies and milk over a sandwich for lunch and think "what the heck" when someone sends me home after a dinner-date without at least a piece of chocolate. 
So here's a confession:
Today I went to cutesy little French cafe for lunch with a friend. 
It gets worse. 
Amongst all the delicious sandwiches, soups, and salads, this particular cafe greeted us with a beautiful display of French gems: pastries. Super hardcore ones at that. The kind that's almost too pretty too eat. 
Usually after something like lunch I don't need anything sweet, so I really didn't think about purchasing something other than my vegetarian croissant sandwich. 
But on the way out I thought, "It would be cruel to come home and tell Adam I went to a French bakery without bringing him back something."
So I bought something. 
And on the way home, I got a little curious and had a conversation with myself about this beautiful white box staring from the seat next to me. 
"I wonder if it's even good."
"Oh course it's good, Britney, but how good?"
"Maybe we should make sure it's safe."
I tried it. Surely husband would understand that in purchasing this over-priced delicacy that I would certainly want a little nibble. 
One bite turned into two. Yeah, ok, I ate the whole thing. 
Alright, but let me explain my rationale:
This particular dessert resembled a triple-layered chocolate mousse cake with super-thin crust in-between each fluffy layer. I thought when buying it that it was more of a cheesecake. The problem? Adam doesn't like pudding. He couldn't possibly enjoy this as much as I would. In fact, I was doing him a favor--if I was told someone had a pricey French dessert just for me my hopes and expectations would be pretty high. I wouldn't want to be disappointed with something I really didn't care for--like cherry pie...sick. So really, I selflessly took the bullet for my man and saved him some major disgruntlement. 
I mean, it could have ruined his whole day.


Yeah, I'm a bad wife. 
Not to mention a total pig. 
But it was 100% worth it. 
Don't judge me. 

Aimless Rant

No one wants to hear a 7-months-pregnant woman rant about...well anything...but we all have a need to divulge--or perniciously expel--our inner-most frustrations, annoyances, and heart-felt omg's. So stop here if you're already not in the mood, but from here on out, I'm whining about my experiences of the past 5 days:
-I'm under the impression that 2/3 of the world's hepatitis is festering in rest stop toilets. 
-Why when I ask for an "Iced Chocolate" do I get without question an "Ice Coffee?"
-I can't quite understand why people enjoy watching me eat. Do they think it's cute that I'm taking care of my unborn child? Are they waiting to judge me for eating a Reese's? Or are they expecting some sort of freak show where I eat everything in site? 
-Obviously I'm biased and think that the east coast is the greatest place on earth, but when a waiter finds out I know where Cherry Hill, NJ is because--oh-my-gosh-no-way--he's from there, I don't care to talk about everything you love about it. Just bring me my *@$# food. 
-Why would I want a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment where the second bathroom is in the baby's room? So Jude can start out his life with his very own stand-up shower? 
-Leggings are not pants. Especially when you're not athletic. 
-How hard is it to include water, sewage, and garbage in the rent to close a deal? "Oh, you want to sign a year lease paying way more than you really need to for one of our shoeboxes, but won't do it if we don't pay those, even though every other apartment complex is? Ummm, no, $40/month just isn't worth it." Jerks. 
-Why is there 1 Dunkin Donuts in the Northwest? 
-Hey drivers: Stop cutting me off. I don't care if you're late for a Tree People's meeting. 
-If something I'm charged a daily rate to rent is returned 3 days early, I expect to be refunded those 3 days. Understand?
-How much ice cream is too much? A heaping bowl a day? What if it's low-fat? 
-I just got my OK to schedule a time and place to take the NCLEX. Eff. 
-Why don't they design beds specifically so that pregnant women can sleep at night too? I mean, most people are pregnant at some point during the use of their mattresses. We can't all be skinny our entire lives. I would assume it would work the same way for men with potbellies. 
-Ikea's having a sale and I don't have a place to live.
-Thanks but no thanks Portland pizza. 
-Please don't lie to me and tell me I look fabulous when my face is red, my butt and ankles are swollen, and I'm scarfing down a piece of cake the size of a small child. 
-Out of all the changes going on with my body right now, why did my eyebrows decide to get involved? Who gets frizzy eyebrows? 
-"This too shall pass" better not be just empty words of comfort to calm the desperate. 
-Why am I constantly running out of clean underwear? Who the heck is wearing my underwear?


Hah that felt good. 

Memories

This is a picture of our second day in a row hanging out. I just found it. Thought you'd enjoy it. 

I Don't Know What to Call This

So I'm a total loser and uploaded all of our vacation pics to Adam's computer and for some reason he's having trouble connecting to the internet here. Hence, no Christmas posts. I'm working on it. We've basically been eating pizza and italian wedding cake, sleeping in, watching movies, and apartment searching online all week. It's been a great time with family and friends and we're sad that the trip ends tomorrow morning. 
Favorite Christmas quote: 
Grandpa Handley--"Britney, tell your doctor that the due date is the 27th (it's really the 21st, but Gpa's bday is the 27th). So you'll just have to keep your legs closed until then." 
Nice. 
What Adam got for Christmas: Two video games, LEGO Star Wars, H&M pants, H&M shoes, iTunes gift cards, a mug that says "Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife", and lots and lots of candy. 
What Britney got for Christmas: New-freaking-awesome maternity coat and tank top, H&M sweater, milkshake maker/mixer, 2 pairs of Urban Outfitters oxfords, Twilight from Edward, and lots and lots of darling little man clothes for my little Adam. Can't wait. 

We love each other. Obviously. Wish us good weather and flying conditions on our voyage back to Rexburg! 

Just Kidding

So just kidding, Adam and I are not moving to Boise, ID. 
We're moving to Portland, OR! 
While we were busy packing last Monday for our move and trip back east, Adam got a call from the company in Portland that originally couldn't hire him, telling him that plans had changed and they wanted to offer him the job. We were FLOORED. We had already made plans in Boise, we even had an apartment, and told them we would call them back the next day. After a stressful night, we called Portland the next morning telling them we'd accept the position. It was a bitter-sweet decision for sure--the position and offer were better, but we were really looking forward to living next to Adam's brother and his wife and little ones. But we had a feeling we needed to be in Portland, so holy cow that's what we're doing. We get back on Wednesday and have to move out of our little apartment Thursday morning--so I'm kind of freaking out.

It's no New York, but Portland's a super cool place. 

Happenings

Can you tell I haven't been able to located my camera until now? Hope so. Is that an excuse? Absolutely not. Sorry darlings. This has been a crazy last couples of months. To recap:
Halloween: 

Adam and I caved in and went to our ward Halloween party as Edward and Bella. We were poor and had no time. I think we nailed it. If that's even something to be proud of. The day before, we went trick-or-treating with Natalie and her little girls, as well as my little sister Brynne. We had, once again, 0 time (like literally 10 minutes) to figure out what to be so we just threw on whatever neon colored stuff we had and went as 80s freaks. I love trick-or-treating. I've gone every year since I was a child and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 
So how did I get away with it? 
I went to the doors with Sienna and my pillowcase explaining that I was there to collect for the sick sister at home. Dishonest? Absolutely. But I justified it with the fact that Sienna would probably eat most of mine anyway. Oh, and Brynne went as a chi-mo (child molester). Yeah she's kind of awkward. 
Thanksgiving: Brynne and the two of us drove to Vancouver, WA to Adam's family's. Everyone was there and it was a zoo. We slept on an air mattress upstairs in the play room and were woken up every morning to the little ones wondering if it was play time yet. Lisa, Mindie, and Amanda also threw me a fantastic baby shower and we got all kinds of neat things to go along with our nautical theme for Jude's room. It was a great week and we enjoyed the family time and time off from school. Also, Adam interviewed at an ad agency in Portland that really liked him and his work (well duh...). 
The past couple weeks: I passed my nursing exit exam first try (by a hair), which was a total relief. Standardized tests are really lame and totally screw with your head. Adam hung up his BFA project, which he did awesomely on, and has basically been done with school since. Meanwhile, we waited to hear back about Adam's job possibilities. Portland called back saying they REALLY liked Adam and his work, but couldn't get permission from the CEO in Boston to hire on another employee right now. I started sweating it because that meant we only had one other option, which was in Boise. Adam and I drove to Boise and stayed with his brother and sister-in-law Matt and Kim and interviewed there just last week. We waited till the end of the week and they finally called offering him the job!

SO---we're moving to Boise on the 31st after we get back from visiting my family back east! Holy cow. 
Graduation: 

Adam's parents and my parents and two sisters came to graduation this past weekend. Friday was the dedication of the BYU-I Center, which is a scaled down version of the conference center, so it's huge, where President Henry B. Eyring with Elders Nelson and Bednar dedicated it and the Manwaring Center. It was just awesome. Unfortunately, that same day was my nursing pinning (which everyone else has pictures of), at the exact same time as Adam's convocation. So he didn't see me get my pin and I didn't see him get his diploma...cover. Really sucked but oh well. The next day was commencement and my convocation and then the festivities were over. 
So now, we're leaving for NY in a few days and trying to get our apartment and ourselves ready for this new move. All along Jude and I are getting huge and I'm really excited to start this new chapter in our lives. Nursing jobs in Boise also look super promising. Looks like this will be a year of huge changes and blessings and we can't wait to see where life takes us now. HOLY CRAP I'M DONE WITH NURSING SCHOOL! 

Baby Shower

Hey everyone!
So my friend Natalie is hosting a baby shower for me this Saturday at 11AM at the Village clubhouse--and you're all invited!
RSVP to Natalie. I hope you can all make it! If you can't bring a present, come anyway! 

20 week Maternity Shoot

So my insanely creative and talented friend Myra drove all the way from LA this past weekend to surprise me with a visit! I just love her. She brightens my life. She's a little ball of energy and I wish I was more like that. I asked her what we were going to do during her visit and she was like, "We're doing a maternity shoot! I've always wanted to do one!" Soooooo she picked a 60s theme for me and I just LOVED it. I've got to say though, maternity is a hard thing to model for. You can basically show two emotions: serious and sweet. Both of which I look pretty amateur doing. So anyway, here's a couple! 

Anyone left wondering what we're having??
It's a little BOY!
He's so cute.
The first view we saw once the ultrasound tech placed the probe on my belly was him legs spread out wide showing off his bum and goods. 
There's no mistaking it--he's a boy--and Adam couldn't be more excited. The first thing he said was, "Omg....I'm buying him a little golfing set and we're gunna play soccer." 
I'm stoked to have another man in my life...he'll be my little buddy. 
I'm hoping he looks like Adam. And I wish he could come out with Adam's scar on his right cheek bone. 
Well, I'm 21 weeks! CRAZY! A little bit more than halfway done. 

Cupcakes

After school (and some pricey, but delicious Mexican food), I got a ridiculous craving for something sweet--like authentic donut sweet. Buuttt the really good new donut shop closed early, and we went home (I went home) unsatisfied. So we decided to use the Halloween cupcake decorations Mom Stevens sent us to be festive and bake our own treats with. Because we're lame and un-creative, we decided to finally be Bella and Edward for Halloween. I guess I'll just be wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, and a confused daze. I'm powdering Adam's face white and he's gunna go find some cheap fangs. On Friday we're going to our ward's party and Saturday's trick-or-treating with Natalie. I love how tradition never dies. We also made Jack-'o-lanterns. 
Mine's the generic crappy one, Adam's is him. 

We find out what the little one is on Monday! Any guesses??? Should I post up a generic poll? Meh. My back hurts. I feel huge.